Sovereign LORD

Over the last few months, I have become much more aware of the sovereignty of the Lord. I want to share some of the stories that stand out as a testimony in my life to the absolute and supreme power of God.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

I love planning. I hate surprises. I like to think out the consequences of any decision, create alternative plans and think a few steps ahead. When I was younger, my mother would praise this attribute in me—being a planner is not a bad quality.

But this often manifests itself as a desire to “be in control” of my life. I am not in control though— the Lord is the only one actually “in control”. Proverbs 19: 21—I can make plans all day, decide my steps—but ultimately the Lord's will prevails.

Some might throw up their hands in distress and frustration—but this gives me great comfort. My own heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) but the Lord is holy and perfect. Psalm 119 speaks a lot to burying our hearts in the will of the Lord—

Verse 2: “Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.”

Verse 7: “I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.”

Verse 10: “I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.”

Verse 11: “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

Verse 30: “I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws.”

Verse 32: “I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.”

Verse 34: Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart.”

Verse 36: “Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.”

Verse 58: “I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise.”

Verse 69: “Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart.”

Verses 70, 111, 112, 145 and 161 also pray for the condition of our heart. Over 15 times in ONE Psalm, man’s heart is mentioned—must be pretty important.

This truth—that my heart is deceitful against the Lord-- was shoved in my face while in London. Anxiety and a fearful heart grip me. I have become an expert at orchestrating my situation so as to avoid fear. I purposely live in a “safe” neighborhood with the police station literally around the corner. I carry pepper spray and have it prepared in my hand when I have to walk a block from the metro to my place at night. When both my roommates are out of town at the same time, I either ask a girl friend to come over and stay or I leave and stay with someone else. The first thing I do when I go home is check my shower to make sure there is no one in it. I have become an expert at creating a superficial safety net.

But in London, I was stretched and pushed to the limit. While ministering one day on the street, I felt threatened, I felt vulnerable….and that night I didn’t sleep at all. I was paralyzed in fear. All I could think about was getting on a plane and going home. And this was only day four of our trip.

Through prayer and submission of my heart to the Lord, I had to start the process of learning to let go of my very superficial control. I am learning to pray about my deceitful, fearful heart—and to bury it in Word of the Lord. When I have those moments of ugliness—when I feel that fear coming on—I go straight to praying the name of Jesus and opening my Bible—usually to a Psalm.

Trusting in the Lord's sovereignty means bending my fearful heart to Him because we are sanctified by Jesus-- John 17: 15-19,

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified."